victory within the mile.

this week

2009-11-08T05:16:00.000-08:00

I feel so bersyukur that i finally cleared my major papers.
So i decided to spent some time with my girlfriends, jerrybby&shareena anak abdul jalil,
my daughter. nyahaha. see mummy never abandon you okay!
I am thankful to have these two girls by my side, they are my true friends.
Who never fail to listen to my stories, share the laughter the hugs, yes the hugs.

Apart from these, they even instruct me on what to do and not to do.
Its like the missing puzzle in my life is finally complete.
No i am not sad or remorse or anything.
You see my life was once complete but apparently it shattered cause of this feeling called the ego, yes the ego.
You see, its inevitable for someone not to forget their _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
You feel prisitine, secure and you just have this perspective that the future is assured and written.

However, at times ppl, like me, yes i finally admitted, dont think about the outcome, consequences and just dont think out of the box, so when things happen and you are unprepared, all you can do is break down continuously for a period of time.

To think back, i realised i was very strong. Despite me moving forward only after a period of time, i have to thank all my friends and cousin for being there for me at such a time and in fact even my nenek was there for me.

Now, i am all strong standing on the ground with both my feet once again, I am proud of myself(:

the simple things in life.

2009-10-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

First and foremost i am so sorry for the late update.
I mean nothing much has been happening cause i am giving my all to Os for now.
I have completed english and mathematics.
Currently, i can only pray for the best.

I have been catching up with siti bits and pieces.
Will be catching up real soon after Os, total catching up, entire day(:
yes i do miss those days.
the swing, the long conversation, the karaoke, the love, the samp(:, the walk, eating like there's no tmrw at the designated bench located at fort canning(:, the flight of stairs to clarke quay, running down the hill, racing whoever managed to reach first will get a peck on the cheek? yes i miss those times.

Lates update.
He texted at 553am claiming that his in spore i thought he was back but false alarm, haha. *lol to alissa*
apparently orang itu hanya berhenti di singapura selama sehari sahaja.
but that was the reason why i could write fluently for english(: my source of motivation.

Basically, i cannot wait for Os to end.
It is taking a toll out of me.
Indeed i am supperr stress.
but i can managed my time(:
insya allah.

Thats all for now till after Os when i will flood this blog with many2 pictures(:

*Deras hatiku berdetak
Di langit aku terlihat kamu
Terang malam teman kita
Dengan angin meniup sayu
Ku petik gitar akustik ini
Dengan harapan dia mendengar
Melodi indah yang kucipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya(:

what i have been doing?

2009-10-13T00:46:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings. HAHA(: miss meee? haha yeahh i know you do even if you don't i know i did miss myself. haha

Okay so here it goes i am bored of the mundane routine of studying and i know i should not be blogging at this point of time but get this clear i am taking a break(:
hahaha.

This is random but i will just post these five six how i wish..(:
1. For someone to propose to me at the last level of THE EIFFEL TOWER
2. For someone to fry mars bars for me all night.
3. For someone to play the piano for me. ( lagu tercipta untukku) haha i can do it myself! nyaha
4. For someone to play the game of catching w me at the long stretch of stevens roadh
5. ANNNNNDDDDDDD someone to take me on a ride in a cruise/ship/kapal ! :D
6. i wish you are safe and happy in everything and anything you do. AWWWWW. *wink

Random facts abt me
1. i love ben and jerry's ice cream.
2. i love strolling aimlessly
3. i am in need of a star gazing partner
4. female version of a hustla, haha. NANANA DIVA IS A FEMALE VERSION OF A HUSTLA
5. azurabby will always and forever be my babylove<3 hehe. mwwaahhh
6. i am like scratching my head.
7. i love mudpies. and the damn luscious mudpie will always be the one at island creamary's
8. i am in love with lewis hamilton ever since a year and half back. his so sexxayyee
9. i cannot wait for the 11th of nov to arrive
10. i cannot wait for sept 2010 to arrive(:

okay. thats it for my posting this time round. i have to continue mugging hard! for myself, for my parents, for my future. nyahahaha!

crucial part in life.

2009-10-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

This entire week had been rather hactic and fast forward with all the continuous revision and its on going study. However even when the going gets tough, i am just contented to have my friends by my side especially aaron(: who have been of a great help in tutoring me for both chemistry and maths. Besides this, he has also been a great friend, and i mean it when i say great. Its been so long since i have a company who understands me internally and externally. His repetitive jokes and secondary school stories in SA never fails to make me smile, like of course i mean boy's school and their mischieve, haha. I am thankful to have such a good friend like aaron(:

Yesterday, the 3rd of october went jalan raya with the 4Es and 5ns. OMG i tell you, so kecoh especially atiqah and her corny talk. haha. It was one of those memorable events. What made it more special and illuminating was that we bermaafan at farah's nenek place. It was a momentum and heart warming event. Relatively everyone teared when bermaafan. So here was the scenario, i sat on the couch then one by one kneeled down started bermaafan. I have no idea why i was the main one who sat there. OHOH cause they claimed that since next week is my bday so i shall be the main spotlight something like tt la gitu, HAHA. okay, so farah was the first one, i never taught i would burst those blobs of tears, but i did. Then farah continued the cycle of crying followed by semua. Saddening. But indeed it was worthwhile.
UPLOAD PICS SOON.

Okay so here is my plan for the subsequent week.
monday- studying and dinner w aaron KWOK! haha kay sorry aaron lim(:
tuesday- continue revison
wednesday- happy bday alissa!!!(: omg feels so diff no feel empty to be specific
thursday- continue revision
friday- last day of school! YESSS AH! no actually goodbye st margs):
subsequent week i will just give in my best shot for this final lap and continue doing intensive revision and practice. Insyaallah.

to hakim:
its only been a week but i have to admit i have started missing you. waiting for your call. hoping for some reception somewhere in the middle of the ocean(:

f1 pics

2009-09-27T03:07:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are some of the pictures for the f1 outing.

me and kak fad ;D

abg afiz, me, kak fad and dilla

dilla and abg afiz haha(:

(: its johnnie walker!

Bibik and mother

was studying while waiting for the race to begin(:

saturday.

2009-09-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

yeayness to me(:
ms Tan claimed that my POA is improving so much as compared to the previous weeks where i had forgotten almost everything, haha.

After tuition, i continued my beauty sleep till three. Then siap-siap and headed down to raffles shopping centre to meet up w abg afiz and family including kak dila. We had free starbucks cause abg afiz's friend was working on that particular day. We entered the F1 pit at around 5. Yes we were super early haha but we decided to walk around. Snapped quite a number of pics will upload it soon.

Kak dila was damn adorable la, the moment she entered, her face was blank. Its like a foreign place to her, haha(:

Then blablablabla. Race started. I SAW LEWIS HAMILTON CAR(: hehehheheeeeee. McLaren number one!

But right, abfg afiz's family left at nine. sad. So i was like bored. told mother i will be walking around esplanade. And i was on my own. Sedih pe. HAHA. so pampered myself with haagen daz cherries and cream, super nice can taste the liquor. i din know tak sengaja. so its okay((: haha.

Then i balik to my tempat. Mother looked at me and told me this "i saw siti maz" so i was like "huh?????? where??? what is she doing here" then she pulled my hand and bring me to her. So i say hi. Her face was blank so she said hi too. Then i smiled. Then we talked.

So we walked to the stairs somewhere near the stage thingy. THERE WAS NO ONE! best kan. haha. So we bermaafan. I teared! emotionally eh. HAHA(: so we forgive and forget whatever plight of things that has happened and decided to buka a new chapter.

So we catch up for a while while as usual not sampoerna-ing but marlboro-ing hahahhaa!
she told me abt her attachement w astro boy-_- yes im super diasappointed but if it makes you happy i will be happy for you too.
oh then we talked abt hakim punya kepergian haha(: kay kay correction no laughing and smiley animation.
then we decided to be partners next week for jalan raya since we both are wearing green this year

so we went back to the place and supported lewis(: i am in love w the sound when they changed the gear. Most of the ppl wore ear plug but me and siti decided not to.

Kay thats it for now. I very penat still. upload pics soon.

upddateess.

2009-09-25T16:28:00.001-07:00

schooool.
- phone confiscated by the school! -.- can only be retreived in a month's time.
- super frustrated but what to do, haha(:
- scored the highest for paper two malay woooohooo(:
- getting back prelims results next week.
- three days in a week endung sch at seven

life.
- gg F1 today with family and abg aliff's family, cannot sabar cause can bebual non stop with kak
fad(:
- nothing much really happen cause o level's are coming. shall prioritise important things first.

hakim
- never get to see him for the last time, supposedly to but mother asked him to come instead -.-
- sad?? yes i know, i mean for a year!
- oh this is the funny part brother told me, "hakim told mama cause his wearing shorts and want makan. kay makan part is planned but makan where. LOT ONE!! "hahaha. i heard from brother i laughed out loud. like hakim cannot think of any better venue gitu, haha.
- contented to have a short conversation w him while he finish his stick
- touched he rememebred my bday, precise some more w the year. haha. and the only reason he rememebered the year is cause nab is born in th same year, haha. kan kan kan?
- oh and he reminded me if i were to visit his blog ignore the pics of him and girls? haha. something like that. and to only see his shaved hair. haha(:
- oh yes obviously im gonna miss him, thats inevitable.
- but look on the bright side at least i bid farewell to him in feb, you know i know what i mean(:
- and saat terakhir was his birthday eve. cukup bersyukur.
- lastly, kim gonna send me bday postcard from arab, hahaaha. CAM REAL JE ;D

Kay thats it for now. Its still seven in the morning was awaken by kim's goodbye msg.
shall go back to bed.

to you:
selamat jalan selamat pulang. take care of yrself in foreign countries. and insyaallah pergi utk kembali(: yknow i know what i mean(:

feel it. sense it. miss it.

2009-09-22T02:39:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, selamat hari raya to everyone.
If pernah tersinggungkan perasaan or tekasar bahasa.
Ykno ppl make mistakes and its thru these they would mend their ways.

Latest updates:
-exams are drawing near, i mean o level.
-been studying hard lately.
-you're still in my heart.

Anyway, this coming saturday kim will be sailing off for a year to be precise.
A part of me says oh im gonna miss you i guess?
Though his long gone by time, he will always have a place in my heart.
I will sure rememeber
. the day he waited for me at CCKCC bus stop(:
. the very first BnJ visit
. blui starring at him on his first visit to my place (haha)
. the stroll through the long stretch of stevens road
. watching a millionaire first love( first home movie )
. looking at him trying hard to break open the durians( hee)
. saturday dwuw(:
. his short of coins nak naik bus, haha
. cooking maggi goreng like 2 packets!
. watching him gulping down green tea and eating pau at farrer road
. the dumb movie, the return to the centre of the earth (something like tt)
. him! waiting for me at dover mrt to walk home together
. giving him love notes and chocolate fr motivation due to upcoming exams
. di tempat fitness, under the 17 stars, 3/4 occupied sit up bench
. sitting down at boilat's corner
. eating waffles and bubble tea at hq during 08 fasting month
. him! hiding chicken wings during ian's bday
. walked me home along the long stretch of pathway
. swaying on the swing at fort canning
. him standing up for me (infront of many at only we know where)
. the first kental game over the phone( recorded)
. eating cup 'cone' at macs
. studying at ian jeimz place (haha)
. and the one last night at HQ sitting down on a wide grass field watching the bunga api yg tak
menjadi died.

To abdul hakim mokhtar.
have a safe and pleasant journey on board. you'll always be my matrep kelantan(:

2009-09-22T00:22:00.000-07:00

chiillling with the twinnies(:
many credits to zati iwani for helping out the most(:
mwwwaah. owe her one big mega big mac

wani here, just wanna let my lissybaby know that i'll do anything for her. *hugs*

hari raya

2009-09-22T00:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late postings been very busy lately revising and visiting nenek(:
Okay so here are some raya pics.
Oh and btw kim will be sailing off this saturday, SHOCKING SUDDEN NEWS.
anyway, will upload more soon :D

Coussiinnnsss looove<3

favourite gayboy, haha. correction abg sdare, aliff(:

11july09(:

2009-07-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

LIfe has been oh so good these few days.
I have been delegating time in both studies and fun(:
haha. yes fun.

I spent my saturday with shareena, puvan and martin.
We filled our stomach at puncak before having saturated fun and laughter.
Martin left halfway cause he had to work.
Afterwhich something happened between shareena and martin.
Should not emphasise or elaborate on that.

We headed marina.
At first we were clueless as to what to do.
Must admit it was one of those OHNO WHAT TO DO NOW days??!
So we strolled to esplanade, in between boat quay and sat there.
I felt rather awkward HAHA.

Then made our way to the fountain afterwhich to macs at raffles.
I bought for puvan vanilla milkshake cause i know thats his SENTIASA drink each time
makan at macs.
We went silent for a moment. So wrote note to him and he replied(: WOOO! haha.

Waited for fireworks at the fountain once again.
NOW THIS IS THE ENJOYABLE AND EXHILARATING PART OF THE OUTING.
While we were seating by the fountain all looking dread boring and half dead.
It started to drizzle then yes as expected heavy downpour. Shareena left to the shelter leaving me and puvan behind.
Alissa: i think its getting heavier and its time weleave this place
Puvan: i think so too. haha

The moment we entered the shelter. BOOM BOOM BOOM! FIREWORKS! haha.
Afterwhich we decided to do something fun and also to ensure that shareena will not be feeling rather gloomy, we walked one whole round around the fountain accompanied by the heavy rain and thunder. We were extremely drenched and cold by then.

As always, i sooo love jumping onto the puddle of water. I did that haha and apparently the water splashed on his pants soaking it wet? hahahaha. In turn puvan being puvan he "revenge" me blablabla and the cycle continues. hahaha.

Bottomline, i had a memorable saturday even in the cab(:

To shareenaB<3
Hey b(: do not be disheartened. Its part and parcel of life. Take it as an experience and let him be a memory. You are strong. Wait st margs girls are all strong. WOOHOO(: ily. see you later for syarahan. haha

To you(:
One night and one more time thanks for the memories<3

thunnddeerr(:

2009-07-09T05:21:00.000-07:00

It got me thinking. Thinking about everything. Virtually from a to z and i realised many things. In spite that, i am still standing strong not wilting nor rotting(:

Song that was playing: thunder-boys like girls
venue:my bedroom
people:yuyun, abg aliff and myself(:
Actions:lying down scattering and terdiam

As abg entered the room...
abg: suay suay suay, suay....... haha! eh adik2 sedara aku tersyg
walk towards me and ruffled my hair as usual.
yuyun: alifff! amaciam hidup? ada baik?
abg: as always. kata aliff always ada baik. haha.
yuyun: haha. come lets talk its been so long
abg: kakak lissa kita sekarang senyap eh? asal main lagu thunder? gay sia korang malam yang sungguh indah macam gini.
lissa: oh its on shuffle. i din even realised this song was playing and stop it with yr cannot make it malay bahasa.
abg: sedih eh hidup. hari2 kene kacau.
lissa:alalalala
abg: jangan alalalala dgn aku. lissa. hehehhehehehe. rindu uh dgn lissa.
lissa: random eh aliff skrg
abg:haha. serious la. anyway hows yr life?
lissa: no nonsence. current companion my ten yr series and textbook
abg: alhamdulilah. haha. lissa skrg semakin kakak2 eh. da besar adik abg

THEN ANNOYING PART CAME.
yuyun took my phone. She pretended to send songs but otherwise. Ended up commenting.

Yuyun: liff look at yr adik sedara tersyg! sini
abg: asal asal asal?
yuyun: WTF is the song always be my baby and cyclone video doing inside. And whats up with the fcuked up bday videos. eh lissa i geram with you sia. whats with this?
abg: yang kau da kenapa tak pasal2 tengking dia
yuyun: you dun masuk campur la bapok.
lissa: what la? jangan tak pasal2 raised yr voice on me
yuyun: what raise my voice. ask yrself la fcuk!
abg: eh whats wrong with u sia. jgn perangai uh yuyun
yuyun: sorry lissa. heat of the moment

I seriously have no idea whats wrong with me having the song always be my baby on my phone. She made it sound like some major and crucial issue. The song do not reflect any inner nor outer image. But i guess i understood her better after abang talked to me. Luckily and im so honoured and thankful to have a cousin like him. He never failed to comfort and shield me when im in trouble or any sort. That night i actually shed my tears after for so long. I felt rather relieved afterwhich. I guess there were just too many inner feelings which have yet to be vommitted.

To abg:
Thanks for the sharing and jokes which hurts my colon and duodenum that night. Despite me crying for less than five minutes, you managed to pull me through and coaxed me like how you always did years ago. And thanks for the sampoerna pack which was shared amongst me you and yun. You are still the best afterall. hehehehhe. sounds wrong eh? haha(: see you soon. gemuk gemuk gemuk(:

To yuyun:
Firstly sorry. Secondly i was touched. I mean i have no idea you were surreptitiously concerned etc. But after the explaination from abg i understood yr intention better. You still rock my bra(:
and I love the both of you the best. MUUUAACCKKSS

friday date(:

2009-07-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Life has been pretty much stressful due to countless revision.
However, i will not let this stressful-ness pull me down cause i am certain hard work pays off at the end of the day.

I spent my friday with siti.
We were so exhilarated about the movie date however we ended up not watching theatre cause the seats were full and there were only limited places which showcast ghosts of gf past.
We ended up climbing the flight of stairs leading us to fort canning(:

Usual sister business(:
Afterwhich, we dropped by central cause she wanted to get seafood fried rice. Went back crown centre(:

Basically nothing interesting happened.

Will be spending my weekends studying and revising though.
OHOHOH! and heading town later cause mother will be getting me a new pair of jeans(:

behind every smile

2009-07-02T05:08:00.001-07:00

people(:
i gotta admit i will be one of those who will miss you when you are sailing off.
take care. imy<3

happy 18th to ppl(:

2009-06-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

PEOOOPPLLLEEE;D
awak! happy 18th bday.hehe.
hope you like the gift. sorry nothing expensive but like you said its the effort and sincerity kan kan(:

SATURDAY, 270609

Studied at esplanade library with the twins and her bf. Me and wani were busy roaming for printer. Tapi effort semua hancur. So ended up publishing it on ST MARGARET'S foolscap! haha.

Published the letter outside BnJ accompanied by the live band at 8pm. Afterwhich we sat outside starbucks cause they wanted to have sshhhmmmoke break, haha.

My heart was pounding, idk why. In my opinion, i know i did my best preparing the gift, three days of sleepless night, correction, actually slept at 4 in the morning, hehe. Anyway, it was my very first time doing something hand made for more than a day especially the challenging and annoying part where i had to compile and glue every single page of the book.

Left at 9, took 190 and reached cck int at 930 SHARP! SOMEONE WAS HALF AN HOUR LATE. But nevermind. Truth be told, i was FLAMING ON, haha, but people's smile just soften my heart, so tak jadi geram. hehe.

Passed him the gift then he wanted to snap photographs of us dekat BOILAT'S PLACE. haha.
Its this void deck where we used to hang out, just the two of us(:
The pictures turned out nice and not bad, hee.
Despite me telling him umpteen times to just jumpa his brothers terus, he still insisted on sending me home, i was touched.

As always, salam him before saying goodbye, he pecked my forehead and stood still outside the gate. Then he uttered, "macam old times gitu eh".

He had to RUB IT IN. AS IN THOSE WORDS.

ALISSA BEING ALISSA, SHE CANNOT STOP SMILING, hehe.

Then reached home at 1045, thought mother would be agitated but then surprisingly she was not. She can even say i thought hakim sent you home! hahahahhaa. coolness or what how she know!

Received text msg from him saying that the gift touched his heart.
phewww! I was relieved to hear that cause i thought i actually ruin the gift.

ANYWAY tmrw will be the start of school so should get down prepaing for Os.

TO PEOPLE:
HAPPY BDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BDAY TO PPL
HAPPY BDAY TO YOU<3

happy 18th awak. I remembered how we were friends. HAHA. yeay it was through yr bday a year ago. I guess so many things changed eh. Oh have a memorable 18th, dont sad2(: cause im sure she remembers her first love bday. enjoy the day with yr loved ones and yes i gotta admit i miss you oh so much. Take care and all the best. Have fun reading the jiwang letter. hehe. But its from the bottom of my heart. Susah tau nak mencurahkan perasaan. hehe. Wish you all the best and take care when sailing.
AY AY CAPTAIN;D

so im sailing thru the sea
to an island where we'll meet
you hear the music fill the air
i put a flower in yr hair
though the breezes thru the trees
move so pretty
you're all i see
as the world keeps spinning round
you hold me right here right now.
hehe.
(our used to be fav song a year ago)

cloudy friday

2009-06-26T02:09:00.001-07:00

I decided to sit home today(:
anyway, people's 18th bday is coming.
I really have no idea what to get him.
Its in two more days and im blank and clueless still.
Siti is plunging bits and pieces of idea, thank you though(:
I guess gotta head town sooner or later(:

I kinda miss WANA AND WANI, MY TWINNIES;D
i so so so want and need to meet them.
They are my strength of hope and pillar of laughter, haha(:
SERIOUSLY.
shall sampoerna with them soon to de stress and enjoy the ambience of fresh air.
haha.

OH OH!
nisa gave me the time table for next week, as in time table for revision.
It seemed good. Shall try it out next week.
And thank you so much for the plan(:
must go shopping soon kay?

My resolution for next week:
mon-fri: study study study
sat: study till five? six?
sun: study till seven?

days.

2009-06-24T05:30:00.001-07:00

I realised that you really have to go that extra mile for what you call love?
Cause afterall at the end of the day its a battle between you and him.
I guess i have a better understanding when people around warned about that very one's ego.

To you:
Sometimes you just gotta let down yr ego.
At a certain angle, it will save you for the upcoming future and it will just be something you will not regret.
Nevertheless, that does not fade nor decrease the level of love that is still present within me. Happy bday in advanced. i miss you<3

prev weeks.

2009-06-20T22:01:00.001-07:00

some pictures taken during the prev weeks school break(:
not much cause i decided to upload a few shots only.

That day with people(:

study date with minah(:

Last but not least, i am contented to regain back this pict;D

2009-06-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

To anisah(:
hey you! haha. Thanks for you know what, *wink. Well, all the best and may you fulfill and live yr dreams. In addition, i would like to apologise on my part too if there was at any point of time i hurt you, in a way or another. Take care<3

thousands apologies

2009-06-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Let me start by apologising to everyone who have been waiting for a new post or updates.
Well actually i was occupied with several events etc and if there was that itsy-bitsy extra time also i felt worn out to log in onto this website, hehe. SORRY(:

Without further due and hesitation, here we go with the recent updates.
Basically i will just summarise everything kay;D

Two weeks back:
Alhamdulilah! It was friday when i felt extremely elated cause the entire family went overseas, hehe. They left around 8. Wana and Wani had arrived by then. Following next, siti, my minah came. Planning to do junk food shopping over at Plaza Singapura but like malas so ended up at lot one, haha.

Bought that 'girl stuff' and my ruffles cause it was on offer $2.95! Big deal, woohhoo. Then went cheers cause quenching for redbull. Afterwhich, we hopped on bus 307 cause our dear east side girls, wanasyg and wanisyg wanted a taste of the west side. Passed by yew tee, tempat kenangan(: hehe. Siti and me started to have our girly conversation. Meanwhile never failed to disturb the twins, haha. Siti and me pretended to be the minahrep. Surprisingly, the twinnies shut us up, haha.

Bersembang at the swimming pool till one plus gitu. Rested in Peace for about half an hour then siti wanted to watch ayat-ayat cinta. So we were all scattered on the sofa till 5 in the morning.

Planning not to sleep but have to sleep cause need to exercise my brain for tuition at 10am later.

On that Saturday:
I managed to emerge from katil at 9. Did some housework. Bath lalala. Then tuition, POA! haha. Ms Tan was like "ALISSA! YOU ARE NOT CAUTIOUS OF YR BAD DEBTS. EVERYTHING IS TERBALIK TODAY!" alissa being alissa replied her by saying. "hehe. exhausted la ms tan school ended at 7 yest!", padahal padahal eh. haha.

Afterwhich, minah and me went shmokiinnngggg and had our girly talk again. BTW FYI, I STOPPED THAT THING2 ALREADY! fyuuhh! Proud of myself. My heart was pounding already cause the fact that i will be spending almost the entire day with PEEOOPPLLEEE just makes my toes wiggly and crinkled. So siap2. People tak tahu sabar kept rushing me):

Siti left home. Wana and wani went on with their activities I dragged people to BnJ(: my all time favourite place, the one at cathay. Ate chocolate chip cookie dough. People commented that it was nice. Like excuse me eh awak, is this yr first time tasting it? Padahal all this while each time we visited that place, that was the flavour we ALWAYS OREDERED. Anyway back to story line, went back with 190. On the way back, people was tuning in to all the jiwang song, only allah knows why eh. Alighted at CC and bought durians durians, hee. As promised a year ago, our durian fiesta. So we had durians in the afternoon then PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ALREADY, no need to jot it down here hehe. Arnd 9 at night cooked for him mee goreng pattaya, ALISSA YOU COOK! FINALLY! ITS BEEN SO LONG! No he did not say those words to me, i was mumbling to myself je.

*interval:kaki cramp*

Then i felt sleepy so sleepy. At 1130pm, i was awaken BY PEOPLE'S ALARM LAGU FUJIN REMIX AND IT WAS PLACED NEXT TO MY EAR. ya allah, only he knows how i was feeling. startled to death. but luckily im still alive. alhamduliah, amin. We had our private talk i guess then he left around 12 plus am. Around one, wana and wani went back and told me about their experience. One was ice skating another scandalism at sentosa(:

Went to cc mac for a quick supper. Cause i was famished then balik and TIDUR. too exhausted, really.

Basically that was the illuminating one, the rest tak perlu so i shall not update. I had my fun i guess. Truth be told i am clueless as to whats wrong with me these days. I appreciated every single event or life happening thats im expriencing. To me its like a stepping stone for my future asset. And i gotta thank siti and people for this.

To siti/minah/my one and only, hehe<3

Thanks for guiding me these few months. I know it had been very hectic for us but im sure when we pull it through together and have faith one another, things will run smoothly. ily.

To peooppleeeeeee(:

Hey awak. Thanks for i dont know. Look in the first place i never thought whatever that has happened would happen i mean for the past, the fact that i hurt you, not intentionally eh, you are still here hearing me out. I really appreciate yr gesture. i still love you and yes i still do. Do not ask me why cause my heart says so, partly. The rest i shall not mutter here takut too corny, hehe. Neverthelesss, just a smile from you, im all over the clouds. KAY ALISSA STOP YR NONSENCE! sorry. i guess i will rly wait for you this time. The rest leave it all to fate.

2009-05-19T01:58:00.000-07:00

it makes me happy to see you happy.
even though at times i gotta admit i do think of how we used to be, i guess it was part and parcel of life to have those memories.
scondary school first love story i guess.
ily, take care and all the best.
2205<3

(:

2009-05-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

its been oohhh so llooongg, yes i know.
haha.
for the benefit for those who wanna read or catch up, this is it.
im finally publshing a post.

Firstly, i did not study for midyear cause its just too late, haha.
And im just gonna concentrate on my malay O's which will be held on the first of june.
OOMMGG 2 more weeks.

Anyway, basically im just too malas to type that is why it is not published weekly like how it used to.

So last week was exhilarating-ly, extremellyyyyyy FFFUUUUNNN(:
hahahahhaaha.

Oh firstly i broke up with puvan, im sorry.
But things are getting better cause we are closer than before(:
And his super nice and understanding.
My life saviour(: yknow what i mean eh, haha. 1am call(:
Oh not to forget, my nature partner, watching fountain and cloud and moon and greenery(: haha

So on friday, last friday to be specific, i felt like as if i had cleared all my papers, macam habis Os pun ada, but alissa wake up, long way to go eh. HAHA(:
Spent the afternoon with MINAH(:
i gotta admit i miss her uh, but sometimes my ego just let better off me.
We drifted after that incident, hopefully things will get better. Time will heal all wounds.

Had lunch at united sq pizza hut(:
then we next chill, haha, and headed to fort canning;D

Spent the night with hakim, puvan and siti at tw.
i was feeling rather awkward, just extremely awkward.
Ppl whom i used to be close to but then yes things changed.
but glad that everything was fine, hopefully(:

played the card game where we have to call names while snapping, haha.
hakim-puvan/tinky-winky
puvan-q......., i cant remember/po
siti-nurul nastasha/dipsy
me-farahtiaraabdullahcharles/lala
hahaha.
"people" was indirectly hitting on me, i have no idea for what reasn, but it hurts.
managed to be patient and ignored whatever that comes out from his mouth.

Then went to eat nuggets lalalalalalalala.
and that was basically that friday(:

shall get down to real business and that is mugging for all subjs(:
prepare for prelims and malay paper.

2009-04-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

Life is just oh so good now(:
hahhahahahah.
Everything is going on well.
Just that i get worn out easily this days cause midyear is around the corner.
Im mugging every second i can(:

Shareena is getting closer and closer to me each day and she proclaims that she cannot live without messaging me in a day, haha(: i love shareena(:

Siti and me are getting on well so far. We just make things up. She bought me boxers from topshop whereas i bought her gummies from mini toons. And im planning to get her something much better SOON cause im short of cash right now, haha(: i love minah always and forever(:

Puvan was extremely nice, seriously. I've not been eating proper meals this days, idk why. Hence i often get dizzy. Shareena said it might me lack of glucose, hahahaha. Anyway, Puvan specially deliver macnuggets meal for me to eat despite me teliing him not to susah2kan diri. In anyway, THANKS AALLLLLLOOOOOTTTTTTTT:D

Im revising my biology at the moment without me realising that ive actually played the song lucky by jason mraz on repeat for like more than 7 times, haha(:

2009-03-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

I promised not to interfere
I promised not to bicker
I promised not to love again.

I promised to keep you in my heart
I promised only my heart knows the genuine fact

Therefore, stay happy cause it was all sincere and it was fulfilled(:

Note to self:
Leave everything behind and study hard(:

2009-03-17T04:02:00.000-07:00

Pictures(:

school

2009-03-17T03:43:00.000-07:00

I have to attend school the entire of march holidays.
Sedih tetapi tak mengapa(:
haha.
Cikgu seperated me and sitisister cause she thinks that we can do better if we sit far far away.
Monday was dread boring and full of shit.
I was accused by hakim again.
Its fcuking sad but i gotta be patient.
So yea, just live my life(:
Borrowed books at cck library with siti's card.
Bumped into puvan at control station, he looked sad.
hmmm.

Today, which is a tuesday, attended class late cause did my karangan first then bought red bull cause feeling too depressed. The moment i entered class cikgu was playing old jiwang songs for our narrative writting. Thanks uh, how coincidence can it get.

While those songs were playing, my heart was already falling apart.
Hati remuk bak kaca berderai di lantai, yes, thats the phrase, my fav compo phrase since sec 2, haha.

Izinkan diri ku meluahkan rasa
Maafkanlah aku andai kau terasa
Biar ku paparkan apa yang terjadi
Moga engkau tak ulangi
Sungguh tak ku sangka kau berpaling tadah
Setelah lamanya menjalinkan cinta
Dalam diam-diam kau sudah berpunya
Tanpa aku menyedari semuanya
Aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia
Bersama si dia insan yang kau suka
Percintaan kita tak sampai ke mana
Setakat di bibir saja sayang
Kau bina mahligai dari air mata
Yang jatuh berderai di wajah sepi ku
Hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata
Terhumban rasa diri ku Oh aduhai ku masih ingati
Janji manis dan saat romantis
Kau pinta ku supaya setia
Akhirnya kau yang berubah
Oh Tuhan ku tabahkan hati ku
Temukan ku dengan ketenangan
Jiwa ini dibelasah rindu tetapi apa daya ku
Ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena
Kerana ku masih teringat pada mu
Begitu payahnya nak ku melupakan
Pernahkah engkau fikirkan oh sayang

saturday

2009-03-17T03:26:00.000-07:00

heyho and the way we go, lalalalalala(:
haha.
okay just gotta resist my crap.
Weekends was a blast, its been long since i felt high and exhilarated and insane.
Did it with roxyska plus marissa(:
wohhoooo(:

will upload pics later cause lazy to bluetooth.
So this was what happened over the weekends.
I shall jot it down in point form so readers wont faint and be misery due to excessive paragraphs.

Saturday, 140209.
-remembered what happened a month ago.
-jogged from house to TW to South view to avoid sadness.
-had POA tuition
-went to nenek house for 40 days tahlil
-headed to wrong chalet therefore take the opportunity to change into something appropriate for bbq, haha(:
-hugged and kissed wana, wani, marissa, nurul and shima.
-eat non stop cos too hungry and too tension, haha.
-strolled to the mangrove place.
-planing whether to go ahead with the plan.
-puvan stop me from gg cos he said ada FATIMAH ROCKERS, haha.
-went back to chalet and start cam whoring.
-joined asri, nisha, lynn and zaki abt their white rabbit dinner thing.
-shima and nurul was already asleep.
-aliff came and i was startled cause its been so long since i saw him.
-aliff being aliff, he started the convo by flipping my hair and call me GEMUK, typical word, hahaha. He lost weight.
-watched him eat and tell him i miss him, haha.
-aliff smiled and said his a busy man, haha.
-nisha asked me to tag along to white rabbit(:
-asked wana and wani and marissa to sleepover my place.
-wana was busy in the phone, being FANATIC at 3 in the morning.
-talked to puvan cause he claimed that he cannot stand drunkens, hahhaha.
-slept at 4 in the morning(:

Sunday, 150309
-emerged from bed then clean my bed and bath.
-siap and went makan at macdonalds
-took mrt to yishun.
-took 39.
-bus passed by khatib, reminded me of....................):
-alight the bus and kept talking crap non stop.
-wana and wani and marissa were fanatic, i wasnt, hahahhahaha, joking(:
-kecoh cause raining
-arryan, the hot young boy, welcomed us into the chalet.
-went to mangrove and body was itchy.
-went back and decided to go ehub.
-karaoke at kbox for 3 hours.
-suuper fun.
-we turned that lounge into a club when we decided to blast the volume while the song in the ayer was played, haha.
-ended everything with the song, tattoo, sedih tetapi tidak mengapa, hahhahahah(:

Weekends was unexpectedly fun. But should be studying instead cos Os are coming, hahahaha(:

saturday

2009-03-01T03:59:00.001-08:00

I spent my saturday with shareena and jerri.
Supposedly to be with people at bnj playing piano but things happen for a reason.
ANYWAY, shareena and me spent 20 bucks++ on ONLY FOOD-_-
HAHAHA.

It was raining heavily.
So Takashimaya was our shelter.
We wandered around for almost two hours before we headed to Clarke Quay.
During our journey, there is this bunch of underage mats, seriously so young who looked so STONE. you know like they are on drugs, yea.

They dropped off at chijmes and one of the mats just stripped his pants at the busstop.
GOODNESS!

Met jerri at central and we ate kebab.
Its one of those days where you just feel like sitting and chilling.
So we did just that.
We convo hop, as in from a particular conversation then to the next topic which totally had no link and then it derived back to us wondering where did it all started.

We loitered around that area.
It reminded me very much of cinta pertama, yea you know what i mean and who im referring to. It reminded me of the night, yes the night.

We then headed to the river and sat by the stairs.
This was the interesting part of the day.
Shareena actually went up to this nice and sweet looking malay mix indian guy who was alone with his hoods asking him for a stick.

BRAVO FOR YOUR BRAVERY BABE(:
hahahaha, that guy was nice, seriously nice and so gentleman i swear.
He kept starring and smiling at us.
He said bye to us and just starred at us while we were walking away.

Basically. that was my saturday.

Its left with one more saturday before people is officially away.
I am still waiting patiently for that chance to release whatever thoughts that is running through me.
And i have been feeling gloomy and sad these days, i am not sure why either.

Minah(:

2009-02-27T04:42:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to Pekah.
Happy Birthday to you.

It was Siti's official sweet seventeen today, (:
Sani and me organised this little surprise for her.
I told Siti to accompany me for a bus ride to town, HAHA.
Through the 10 mins journey, siti and me confessed some silly stuff and even recorded it.
My words and confession made her burst into tears, im sorry(:
and i know im ohh sooo swweettt, hahahaha, self-proclaim.

The moment we boarded the bus, sani called me to drag siti somewhere where she can never bump into her.
Sani set up everything, which was the party hat, the cake and the balloon at cash box, this karaoke lounge opposite hard rock.
So i held Siti's hand and dragged her there, the moment we reached Basement 3, i CLOSED HER EYES AGAIN.

As she walked meticulously, i opened the door. As she entered, the song kenangan terindah was playing, i held back my hands and there was the cake and bouquet of roses and balloons.
SHE CRIED AGAIN AND HUGGED SANI(:
FCUKING SWEEEETTTTT.
I almost cried too cos it just reminded me of people, idk why either. HAHAHA.

So we sang non stop hits.
MOStly JIWANG SONGS.
Like kenangan terindah, tercipta untukku, sejarah mungkin berulang, mahligaimu dari air mataku, haha all that genre where you will sure to hear it at malay wedding ceremony, haha.

Hmmmm.
Then all of a sudden i glared into space.
I was deep in thoughts that i did not notice the song had actually ended.

All i can confess is that siti really reminds me of people. The thought of it somehow spooks me out. They are just so similar that i am getting closer and closer to siti everyday. No, i am not close friends with her due to that reason. I am close to her because i once felt how shattered it was to be apart from people that i could not and would not want to lose another whose character and behaviour is so similar and ........ i am just out of vocab to express it.

In anyway, i do treasure my friendship with Siti Maz Adlini Bte Roslan. I would never want to lose such a friend. She is what i call a true friend.

Okay, i have no idea why i upload people's old surprise pict he made for me last time.
I gotta admit i do miss him, alot.

lucky seven

2009-02-27T04:27:00.000-08:00

On the wednesday of our e-learning days, me and siti went school.
Cos the thought of doing it at home was just dread boring.
After everything, we went vivo for siti's advanced bday bash with the rest(:

We bought five mudpies for siti and celebrated it at vivo roof top.
We organised it at the stairs all the way to the top to make it more suspense, haha.
I closed siti's eyes and pam lead the way.
She was shocked and cried for a while.
HAHA.
Everyone feed one another and uttered the word, "for....."
So when it was my turn siti and farah was like, "for "people" and good luck uh babe"
HAHA.
Then teranna was like, "for ex gf"
HAHA.

Then we had lunch at BK.
We decided to call ourselves the lucky 7(:
So we are officially declared the lucky 7.
Nurul and Chloe was planning to call it Famous 7?
haha.
Siti , me and farah just laughed cos thats coincidentally is what people and the rest of his bros call themselves.

We watched love matters.
I swear it was my first time watching love movie with many girls.
Felt so myself as in we were able to shout, laugh and cry without worrying or being ashamed abt it.
Chloe and me left at six cos we had something on(:

Basically, we had fun(:
Officially the lucky 7.
SITITWLMINAH, LISSAHOTMINAH(HAHA), PAMHOTAHLIAN, FARAHGF, CHLOECAT, NURULNYAPPY, TERANNADEAR

2009-02-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

I SUPEERR LOVE SITI MAZ ADLINI BTE ROSLAN(:
AND I MISS BESTESTGOODBOYFRIEND SHIPYARD LOADS(:

people=siti, HAHAHAHA(:
kay this is extrmely random.
but siti just reminds me of people.

To siti/minah/pekah/godmother of dwuwdoodoo:
haha. luckily people has got no excess to this blog, if not he will be laughing out loud like the day i told him about the game we used to play few weeks back. hehehe.

PEK'AH AND PEOPLE/MR SKILL, just makes me happy, hmmm.

.

2009-02-24T17:46:00.000-08:00

Been feeling extremely fcuked up this days for god knows what.

I regretted meeting people that saturday.
For a god damn fact that i missed him all along just made my heart polluted with more sadness that night, what more the hug he wanted?
I made the wrong move and choice i guess.
Again another part of me would say no it was the most sincere thing you ever did.
i just could not deter myself from loving him is because he respects me and his a fcuking understanding ex boyfriend.

I have no idea how to put in words how much i love people.
Met him on the night of 23rd of february, which was on a monday night.
Walked to street soccer beside the mosque and waited for him.
He accused me of ganging up with ian to turn his back.
He looked extremely devastated.
For crying out loud la, why on earth would i do that to him, the only one whom i still love, treasure and missed.
I made my conscious clear and he apologised.
Then he felt bad for assuming such an assumption.
He shared his problems about the cold war incident which happened between his brothers and himself.
It just shattered my heart upon listening to his story.
Please la give in to him afterall his gg abroad for a year which is equivalent to 365 days.
Instead of treasuring one another's presence you guys are just giving him shit.
Im not interferring but just letting out how i feel.

People bought me this little chicken soft toy of all the soft toys that were on the rack.
He claimed that it looked similar to him.
I decided to call him dwuwdoodoo(:
i dont know why but that name just came across my mind.
Siti wanted to be the godmother.

To people:
i know i am not the best you ever had.
And i know there is just no faith and it is just impossible in all aspects of, you know what.
I can never be nabila.
Whatever we had was just unexpected be it in the past and right now.
But i want to tell you that i will always be here for you in any point of time when you feel hopeless.
I dont need you to trust or react to whatever that is happening right now cos i am contented enough with the current status.
Thanks for giving me this very slightest opportunity to release everything that has been tormenting in my heart all this while.
I love you, People, (:

unexpected.

2009-02-20T04:15:00.000-08:00

14 february 2009.

Sitisister(: was supposed to study with me today due to the upcoming exams. However, ian needed help in his portfoilio. Therefore, i helped him out by being his model on a valentine's day at botanic garden, haha.

I waited for ian at cck control station. He startled me from the back. His very first sentence was, "hahahaha. you look like you kene stood up for valentines!"

THANKS AH IAN, HAHA.

Anyway, so we headed our way there by riding on bus 67 and stopped at bukit timah cos he wanted to buy ciggs. While we were engrossed in our conversation, there was actually a monkey all along siitin behind the railing we were leaning on, SCARY OR WHAT!

haha, so we rode on bus 75 and made our way there.

The weather was scorching hothotheat. I was sweating and so did ian!

While the shooting was in process, ian kept uttering, "gimme the solemn and remorseful face when you knew hakim gave up on you. gimme the look when you read the vulgarities hakim sent you" hahahaha. "alissa that is the seducing face la dong" hahahahahha.

and it continued.
We managed to clear everything by five.

By the time, i was already extremely late. Supposedly, i had to meet siti at five but i left at five.-_-
To worsen the situation, there was a massive traffic jam.
And ian was like "not bad valentine" hahahaha.

i apologised to minah(: sincerely and she forgave me(:

so we made our way to marina. Had late lunch at SIX! at subway.
We kept talking non stop like there was no tomorrow and we were bitching about alot of ppl, aha.
Then HAKIM called ian to ensure that i wont tag along, hahaha.

Apparently, ian and siti, especially siti started playing reverse psychology on me. telling me this is the only opportunity to say goodbye to him as a FRIEND.

so the three of us walked to esplanade cos i wanted to get hakim this small mrs fields cookie which says tc(:

i texted hakim asking if its possible to meet for a while. I was expecting a reply like F*** off la.
BUT THE REPLY WAS, OKAY.ANYTHING, haha.
My heart was already pounding.

Everyone was already waiting outside seoul garden, me and siti waited at the stairs cos we were shy. Ian was already calling my name. Then siti signalled me regarding hakim's aprroaching. Eventually, not only hakim but also the rest followed. Hakim and siti were shaking hands and smiling and issing one another, haha.
Hakim glared at me and said, "eh you come here, i wanna talk to you ah"
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, i was shivering inside. its like alissa you made the wrong move.
Then he said, "what you want ah". So i said, "nothing just wanna say bye"

He giggled and said i miss you. OMFG! i was sooper startled. Then he wanted a hug. So we hugged. I felt the intense feeling i once felt when i was with him which apparently led me to bursting into tears on his chest, haha.
Then we had our conversation which people do not have to know.

Everyone was starring at us in a speechless expression, especially siti and ian, haha.
And ian gotta rub it in by requesting that we had our pics taken

Well something i never regretted was being with him(:
his a memory and will always be.
the unexpected things will always happen in life.
Therefore nothing is impossible(:

you

2009-01-27T01:05:00.001-08:00

i despise you day by day.
cos you hurt me like no other human being did.
F OOOOOOFFFFFFF!
you were my whole life nightmare(:

thoughts.

2009-01-27T00:16:00.000-08:00

Thoughts that are running through my mind, veins and soul, hahaha.

1)67
2)fort canning
3)people( i shall not mention who)
4)maths
5)scape park opposite cineleisure
6)stevens road condominium pathway

number one, 67.
Its been quite some time since i took 67 home.
I have been riding on 190, thanks to some minah, SITI MAZ, hahaha.
i miss taking 67 home, SERIOUSLY.
basically, i have nothing much to say about 67, haha.

number two, fort canning.
i miss climbing the steps of fort canning to reach to that particular swing.
The last time i visited that place was when i was attached to H.
THAT WAS LONG!
like a star, like a star, hahaha!
SITI I KNOW YOU WILL BE LAUGHING UPON READIN THIS-_-

number three, people.
yes people!
i do miss people. But i shall not mention who people is exactly.
i really do miss the good old days.
its something i treasure(:
TRUTHFULLY(:
HAHAHAHA.
its good to be secretive at times(:

number four, maths.
i was clearing my drawer.
my drawer which was filtered with N level pracitce papers.
i realised that i was smart?
hahhaa, self-proclaim.
Jokes aside.
i realised i was rather hardworking.
And i came across a message in my N level Maths TYS from H which apparently i am kept in the dark about until today, hahaha.

number five, scape park.
i miss breeze walking at that particular place(:

number six, stevens road condominium.
I miss strolling that long stretch of condominium in stevens road with people. It was our very first outing. He was telling me his childhood story about him jumping into the pool and hurting his forehead, OMMGGG i miss people ship loads.

Basically its just impossible for this to happen again.

ANYWAY!
i was just dread bored so that's why i flushed down all 2008 happy times here(:
in my opinion, 2008 was rather a crucial yet illuminating year.
however, i gotta get down to serious business this yr!
i actually cleared up my HOMEWORKS today.
looking forward to attend school tomorrow.
AND CATCH UP MANY MANY STUFF WITH BELOVED PEOPLE(:
like SITI, FARAH, SHAREENA, NURUL, BELLS, LINE, PAM AND THE REST.

pek'ah and class party.

2009-01-23T01:29:00.000-08:00

My class is so united now(:
We had our very first jumpstyle class party, NOTTT, haha.
Everyone had a part to play.
It was one of those memorable event that happened in my life.
5/3 was just so spontaneous and high(:
In addition, i love 5/3 to the maximum lot.HAHAHA

I will be updating the photos soon.
Meanwhile, just be patient.

Minah thanks for taking 190(sarcastically)
hahhhaaha. seriously thanks ah.
what more it passes that half built condominuim at stevens road.
Then teck whye cc, teck whye lane.

Thanks for making me realised that i was foolished to dump H who always stand up and protect me for that J.
hhahahhahaha.

Anyway it was kinda exciting reminiscing about the past.
Cos apparently it will just enable you to laugh out loud, maybe shed those tears.
Thanks for your shoulder(:

It was part and parcel of secondary school's life.

Now it is time for serious business.

KTM minah(:
wait wait err TogetherWithLove, hahaha(:
How about a durian picnic?
Bestestgoodgirlfriend?
Taio cruz-ayayay?
St12-puspa?
jasonmraz-lucky?
nightmare on elm street?
fort canning ke?
evolusi KL drift?
i dont eat cheese?
hardwork on pizza making at crc end up wasted-_-
hahahaha.
i know for a god damn fact you will be smiling upon reading this SITI MAZ ADLINI/pek'ah

stepping stone.

2009-01-21T03:25:00.000-08:00

I learnt many beneficial experience from my previous relationship.
I would not deny the fact that i gave my all and tried many alternatives to save that particular relationship. Those words and dreams may shattered but i know every step i took during those times was pure sincerity and every verb that i uttered comes from the bottom of my heart. As devastating as it may seem, i had my moments be it in times of solemness, in times of delightness, in times of exasperation and in times of anxiety, my previous relationship had taught me to be stronger, bolder and braver.

I never regretted walking that path for 18 months. As much as i detest deceiving my friends, i have to confess that he was the best i ever had and bits and pieces of his image still lingers in my thought. SOMETIMES!RARELY!

In this new chapter of my life, i want to bring out the best in me. I looked upon my previous relationship as a stepping stone for my future endeavours. It was no ordinary relationship back then.

Nevertheless, i am contented with my present life. School is just getting better and my friends play an important role in my life currently. Meanwhile, wan(: never fails to light up my day with his corniness and continuous merepek of the day. Apparently, these two imperative people keeps me going. I am honoured to have them.

To him
You have my best wishes.
Do fulfill your dreams and make it come alive.
Unleash your potential that is within you.

friday highs!

2009-01-16T05:04:00.000-08:00

Same routine till 130 in the afternoon today.
i stayed in class till around three with shareena and some other girls.

As always, second/third day of period, craving for sweet junks.
So siti and me headed down to cathay's BnJ(:

We ate ice cream for two rounds.
We ordered cookie cookie sundae. We chose brownie cheesecake.
Second round, we ate our all time favourite, chocolate chip cookie dough.
Apparently, it satisfied my desire.

BnJ was tuning to MTV. Then came about this particular music video and beat which caught my attention. The song was titled aint i by i could not remember who but will check it out soon. Its some hiphop hot music(:

We camwhored quite alot and continuously, hahaha.

Oh weeelllsss, i shall start on my homework and ease my burden.
So i can spend more time outside tomorrow as it will be SATURDAY AGAIN(:
with shareena and bellsa.
And will be joining khairul bestie in the evening for shisha.

Siti, alissa

thursdays.

2009-01-15T02:47:00.001-08:00

i actually listened in class today, as in listen attentively after for so long.
It seems that i have been following up with the 2009 new year's resolution so far,
which is to change myself to be a better and more productive person. Not forgetting to spare some time with bestfriend/babylove/girlfriend, azura kathleen mcilwraith(:

english class has always been dry and dread boring. Caroline sat beside me in the theatrette. She was busy deciding about what gift will be perfect for timothy. We will be going clarke quay tomorrow to central(:

biology was moderately fine. While miss poh was going through the nerve system, i was actually flipping through the textbook, i am not sure why i did that either. Then i stopped and starred at the reproduction system of human. The page about scrotum,testis and the list goes on. I remembered how i used to memorise those labels when i was doing my N's, hmmm.

azura was waiting for me outside class, i was touched(:
hahahahahhaaaaa.
so we went to her house.
usual monkey business there.
she will be on the computer
while i will be downstairs hunting for food in her kitchen and watching TV and dreaming and reminiscing, hmmmm.
time really flies. and things change drastically along the way.
thats life i guess.

i had been dedicating my time to praying nowadays.
it works(:
my heart is not as dusty as last time as in its cleared no more worries and it just feels calm and relieved.
i thank allah for leading me to the right path this new year and i learnt to be more patient these days. wait wait.
I HAVE NOT EVEN SWORE NOR SPOUT VULGARITIES SINCE THE FIRST(:
hahaha(:
ACCOMPLISHMENT KAY!

azura and chin are happy together although chin often gets paranoid at the slightest thing azura do. well i think in a relationship one has to give in and its all about being patient and understanding. this way i believe the flame will be lighting throughout(:

to bestfriend/babylove/sayang(:
i loooovee zura alot. no one can replace her in my heart.
i will climb the highest mountain and shout it out loud.
with her by my side, i know i can live on with no worries or lost of faith.
you will always be my number one baby.

classs timee(:

2009-01-12T02:40:00.000-08:00

Today was the released of O level results. The 5ns and 4es were to be present during the distribution of results. The hall was extremely quiet that footsteps could be heard. I was having a mixture of feelings. I felt rather nervous even though it was not my results but the ambience was just there.

The moment Mrs Tan made her speeched on the microphone, the WHOLE OF ST MARGS IN THE HALL yelled for joy and some even shed their tears like ME, haha, for no reason cos i was just too proud for my school. For the first time in history, St Margarets 2008 batch made it to either JC or Poly. Its like 100 percent! I am sooper proud of my school and of course my school mates and teachers for their dedication and hard work.

After which, Siti decided to walk around. Gamar and the gang was there, they were all elated. congratulations for achieveing good results(:

Then i saw iman so i walked towards her and asked about her results. She did quite well and of course i am happy for her. I did not realised that her dad was behind the pillar, then he was like hey you, hahaha, his so funny, he made me smile actually. Then he questioned me and motivate me to study for O's, haha, THANKS CIK SANI(:

Then there were liney, acey, ricey, jerri, shareena, pam, siti and me in the classroom. We chatted and had our long conversation regarding O levels and basically about the future from like 230 till almost 4, haha.

On conclusion, we gonna start studying starting from now, as in today. I shall brush up on my mathematics, chemistry and social studies. WAIIT!! maybe all the subjects.
I kinda forget formulas, equations and chemistry(:

Somehow i missed studying chemistry. The ionic bonding, alkanes and alkenes topics all.

Basically this was my monday activity?hahaha.

To siti,line,ace,farah,pam and to all(:
we shall study hard, study smart and put aside all our worries and shisha-ing or g-max-ing for the time being. Suffer now and enjoy later cos hard work pays off(:
love you bitches to the max.
see you tomorrow

ray of hope.

2009-01-10T22:24:00.000-08:00

Life has been great so far.
I felt so much better. Its like a brand new me which was apparently all along inside has unleashed. I am not sure if its for the betterman for me and everyone around me but somehow i just feel good.
I learn to trust and believe in myself. I am grateful to my best friends, siti and the rest. You guys enable me to stand up when i fall and be my guardian angel when there is no hope. I am very thankful for having such a friend.

To sitisisterminahku<3
thanks for introducing me to chua chu kang roof top, which was like 10 mins walk away from my house. The place was really spacious and de-stressing. HAHA. and thanks for the menthol and letting me puff 6 ciggs in a row cos it really helps. MINAH! you are no ordinary minah, you are the smartest and nicest minah(: i love you

To farahcharlesgf!
i hope JACK cheer you up, hahaha, you know what i mean. i had a great time laughing out loud and making fun of JACKIE HO straight to his face with the song cyclone playing till it hurts my chest and tummy sooper badly but it helps in burning the free meal calorie though hahaha.

To didibreast<3
im glad that its all settled and done(:
im more than happy to hear that you and mario are together once again, so please heed my advice okay. Do not let him slip just like that cos you will be regretting. And please treat him better. You have my support. I LOVE YOU TETEK! i will wait fr yr arrival this friday at school gate and eat bee hoon omellete again okay. oh wait how about walking through the runway at CAMDEN(:

To pamhotahlian.
wah liao.nabei.
hahaha.
girl you make me laugh in class.
thanks ah.
we will always get together even WHEN YOU ARE AN AH LIAN AND WHEN YOU CLAIM ME AS MINAH.
cos we are the hot and genius ah lian and minah,
very rare, limited edition!

To line and ace(:
thanks for roaming around with me and letting go of my fears(:
i am a stronger everyday w/o me realising.
and to line please be cool and hot and dumb like how we used to be in 2007, hahaha.
and to ace, i will make it up to you okay. i promise i will have lunch with you at united square one of this days.

Believe in yourself,
trust your feelings,
be stronger than yesterday,
and everything will be fine.

school(:

2009-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

This whole week was awesome. I felt a part of me has changed and i am proud of myself. Camp was just insane. I could not stop laughing out loud and just fade whatever that has happened in the past(:
Basically, our camp was about motivational self thing. From wed till fri, line,ace,lissa(ME),siti,pam,ter,far,rice,jerri,bell,nurul and shareena played murderer at parade ground under the SCORCHING SUN. The best part was that it was acoompanied by the breeze and knowing st margs has many palm trees, i felt like as if i was at the beach, hahah. We kept running around like nobody's business, haha, 5/3 stop it for crying out loud! The last day of camp was extremely fun and exhausted. Sofian and Mr Vincent Koh(the little boy), haha, played murderer with us. Mr Koh was the murderer and he made it seems obvious. HAHHAA. Sofian was just adorable hahaha he kept saying siti name cos he claimed that its easy to memorised.

To wrapped things up, a brand new year simply means a brand new life, a brand new inspiration, a brand new attitude and a brand new you.
And im proud to be a st margs(:
cos it makes me feel so smart and genius(: hahahha

After which, line,ace,rice and me went SP for open hoouseee. Then the cameraman asked us to gather cos he wanted to snap a group pict of us(:
hahaha. we walked around and finally sat at this particular bench, facing the footbal field and started chatting about how we used to be, WHAT A TOPIC but hell yea, glad that we are reunited once again and it will stay this way as of today(:

On our way OUT to dover mrt, we saw timo and his freinds. Line was startled and she ran out of SP to the mrt CRYING!
line love, cheer up, i know it feels. you gotta be strong okay. we are always here for you.
Line left leaving ace me and rice behind.
Timo came to us and asked for line.
Timo changed dramatically. His not the timo we used to know.
He mixed with mat motor and matrep with tattoossss!!!!
Oh weelllss, people change, its either for the better or for the worst.

5/3<3

stuppiddates.

2008-12-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

i walked out of house and headed to town.
Its been sucha freaking long time since i went there after i broke up with him.
I thought by doing so i could released him out of my mind and be elated for passing my N's.
Watched twilight and it was great.
Reminds me of j though. We would always watch movies together and just our us time.
Afterwhich went "shopping", i realised tt by gg out and wanting to have a so call good time was'nt a good idea at all.
Everthing and everywhere reminds me of him.
The ambience is just wrong.
There was the choirs singing christmas songs.
reminded me of him again, like a year ago, we would always do stoopid and nonsence thing in town, jus us and no one else.

So decided to meet up with farah cos i think she's the only person who can makes me smile at tt point of time.
Met up with her and it was true.
So we went topshop together and there it is again jalil everywhere. The tops are so his. I missed choosing clothes for him and asking him to try it on, i miss playing fashionista with him, i miss playing dressing up with him and i miss playing hide and seek with him in topshop!!
godd!
help me.
i think im moving but i go nowhere.
i fcuking miss him like a child would miss their blanket.

and then i saw fcukinghornybastard J WITH NISA OF ALL PPL MAKING OUT!!
omfgggggg la.
my heart felt like all the way to the underworld.
i was shocked, startled, sad and everything!
i turned around and just be on my own.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,What about now?

one step at a time.

2008-11-16T18:30:00.000-08:00

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rushWhat a rush'
Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, Just too much

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back,
Like the way I do'
Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But i know this crush ain't going away

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging,
Spending time, boy, are we just friends
Is there more, Is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this
Into something that'll last forever

somethings are meant to left unsaid.

2008-11-16T18:17:00.000-08:00

Today was absolute peculiar. Everything was not right or was it right for me to feel this way. He was my bestfr since a year or so. We were friends for 3 years. He has never failed to comfort, love and appreciate me for who i am.

His my tissue when i need a shoulder to cry on, his my sun when i need someone to fade away those solemness, his my counsellor when i desperately is in need of ciggs and drinks, his my clown when i need someone to lift my spirit up, basically he was there to watch me grow from the innocent young teenage girl to my present status right now. He knows me inside out, what i am and who i am. I thank Allah for giving me a good friend like him. He makes me realise that whatever sins you commit is always between you and Allah.Life is unfair.

I know i should'nt be feeling this way but apparently i am right now. The feeling is pure deja vu. I am in love with him and it is similar to the love i felt two years back, i swear. The possibility he would ever feel the same way is just too much. I just have to release whatever that is inside. Sorry.

best friend time<3

2008-11-13T17:52:00.000-08:00

Had a midnight conversation with bestfr after for so long. It seems that he had'nt changed even a slightest bit. I swear his the only one who can lift my spirit up and enables me to smile again(: oh wells so this was how some part goes,

bestfr:anyone call?
lissa:err ya.
bestfr:oh you are?do i know you somewhere?
lissa:err of course.*feeling agitated*
bestfr:hahahha. ALISSA! i was just joking la jangan marah.
lissa:yea right.
bestfr:called to ask me fr a free pass to sentosa again is it?
lissa:no im baadd but not that bad.
bestfr:haha. kenekan lagi. i was just joking. i thought someone has forgotten me.

okay. Shall end the conversation here.
So we talked for almost two continuous hours. Oh btw he called me via his house number, so yea(:
Then we decided to meet soon. I was told to wait for a moment, so i was wondering what was he up to.

Bestfr:Back.
Lissa:Are you busy or something?
Bestfr:haha. I am never busy for you. Sorry to keep you waiting, i was looking for my schedule.

HAHA. He had a schedule for the whole of this week. Saturday he has to go fishing with his classmates, so we decided to head Sentosa on SUNDAY AFTERNOON for PICNIC(:

This was our picnic list:
mat-bestfr
cups-me
ruffles-together
jim beam-bestfr
absolute vodka-bestfr
food-together
mineral water(in case of emergency)-together

I was thinking of campfire-ing there. Apparently, he was amused by that idea and started laughing while asking me to bring along kerosene-.-

I know it was out of the midnight conversation, however, and unexpectedly we started talking about the past, haha. He said it was a memory and qwertyuiop. *lips sealed*

We ended the conversation when i realised that he has to rise early for school.

Lissa:oh ya you schooling right tmrw?
bestfr:uh huh. i know la someone has got no more sch and can burn the midnight oil. Padahal dulu dia yang semangat. 10pm da lenap tidur.
Lissa:okay you sindir me enough already fr today. goodnight and bye
Bestfr: goodnight puteri, haha. i will continue my sindir-ing tmrw okay(:

-Ive been trying to get you off my mind,
but i can't after all this time.

my very first entry(:

2008-11-12T03:54:00.000-08:00

Major papers had ended a month ago. Holidays have started and it's pure boredemn, i swear.
Basically, i am stuck at home. I shall just update yesterday's activity.

I met up with baby j(: at 130pm sharp opposite SMA's building, well the bus stop that was. I cab there simply because i could not stop those tears. He gave me a huge hug. I have always felt the special,intense and warmth feeling each time he wrapped me around his muscular, humongous biceps(: I could not deny the fact that i really do feel comfortable and secure with him around.

Well i started complaining to him about what happened etc.
J has never fail to comfort me each time i am experiencing any kind of mixed feelings. We have been together for a year and a half already and hopefully the flame will stay strong. I never fail to end my prayers, hoping that this relationship will be a life-long commitment for me and also for baby j. J is more than a boyfriend and a partner to me. At times, he would be my lover, my mentor, my brother, my partner in crime, my debator, my companion, my enemy and even my chasing around partner. I have to admit the fact that i have always been a bitch to him for some reason and in certain occassion. Somewhat, i hope that he will understand my situation. For all the sin and unneccessary wrongdoings i had done towards you, i am sorry.

BACK TO STORYLINE(:

After which, we dropped down at The Cathay so that j would be able to change to his "going out clothes" instead of those "pilot" tak menjadi uniform. We ate sizzler at Suntec. It was a waste of money, therefore, we learnt our lesson and will never dine in there again. We walked our way to Boat Quay so that we can expatriate those fats off. It's been so long since we sat by the river. So we had our together time. Afterall, it was beguiling. We chatted like there was no tomorrow. Basically, our topic was about the past, on HOW WE USED TO BE(:

Soon after, we met up with natlove and ian. Its been such a super long time since i last seen nat and omfg, i miss her so much, although she somewhat reminded me of "last time". Makan many many satay at lau pa sat. Then we headed clarke quay. Baby j and i took the g-max swing. We were thrown off at level 12, the feeling was overwhelming i swear. AND I HAD MY FIRST JIM BEAM, hoho, no religious stuff for 40 days. Oh did i informed you about the part when ian stripped off his top to show his tattoos to the cashier to prevent the minah tudung from asking him for his underage IC, haha(:

I was extremely late by then so me and j decided to take a cab home(:

-one, you are like a dream come true
two, you are the only one for me(: