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Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 5:46 PM

Been feeling extremely fcuked up this days for god knows what.

I regretted meeting people that saturday.
For a god damn fact that i missed him all along just made my heart polluted with more sadness that night, what more the hug he wanted?
I made the wrong move and choice i guess.
Again another part of me would say no it was the most sincere thing you ever did.
i just could not deter myself from loving him is because he respects me and his a fcuking understanding ex boyfriend.

I have no idea how to put in words how much i love people.
Met him on the night of 23rd of february, which was on a monday night.
Walked to street soccer beside the mosque and waited for him.
He accused me of ganging up with ian to turn his back.
He looked extremely devastated.
For crying out loud la, why on earth would i do that to him, the only one whom i still love, treasure and missed.
I made my conscious clear and he apologised.
Then he felt bad for assuming such an assumption.
He shared his problems about the cold war incident which happened between his brothers and himself.
It just shattered my heart upon listening to his story.
Please la give in to him afterall his gg abroad for a year which is equivalent to 365 days.
Instead of treasuring one another's presence you guys are just giving him shit.
Im not interferring but just letting out how i feel.

People bought me this little chicken soft toy of all the soft toys that were on the rack.
He claimed that it looked similar to him.
I decided to call him dwuwdoodoo(:
i dont know why but that name just came across my mind.
Siti wanted to be the godmother.

To people:
i know i am not the best you ever had.
And i know there is just no faith and it is just impossible in all aspects of, you know what.
I can never be nabila.
Whatever we had was just unexpected be it in the past and right now.
But i want to tell you that i will always be here for you in any point of time when you feel hopeless.
I dont need you to trust or react to whatever that is happening right now cos i am contented enough with the current status.
Thanks for giving me this very slightest opportunity to release everything that has been tormenting in my heart all this while.
I love you, People, (:

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